Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry


I would like to thank all the readers who supported my fics. To those who appreciated and commented, and to those who still encourages me, my heart goes for you guys!
Before anything else, I would like myself be understood.
As you know, Wasurenaide Wasuretekure is my very first attempt in writing fanfics. I was inspired by LJ fics and I felt like writing too. I drafted a drabble. I was so proud of it that I immediately posted it. It went out of proportions, turning it into a full multi-chaptered one --- which I tell you, is out of my self-assumed comfort zone.
Then I stopped updating.
I kinda got lost somewhere in the fandom time warp, which is bad news for a canon fic. Later on, I found it hard to cope and continue it.
Then I came up with this really bizarre (and awkward, I’ve come to conclude) idea to write a fic-let somewhere in the middle of WW. In SMUT. I thought that I wouldn’t have any problems since I am planning to squeeze it into seven chapters anyway. Which I am yet to accomplish until now. Yes, there are drafts, seven of them, but the fickle-minded me is very unsatisfied with what I came up with. I felt like explaining a lot of things for readers to understand that I am not just writing it for the pleasure of my own twisted (and perverted) mind. I think I owe explaining the entire sensibility of where I am coming from, to the readers. The most painful reason was when the realization of my naiveté hit me. I started staring blankly in front of my computer, then I knew it’s no longer working.
Until now, I am in the verge of just posting an update just to get everything over with or not updating until I am satisfied. It’s hard.
With the struggles keeping me from updating, I tried to determine when --- or where exactly it went wrong. I decided that the issue primarily lies on concerns with the genre I unabashedly choose. So with higher hopes, I posted Heart of Glass. I was caught up with my Shirota Yuu insanity and wasn’t considerate at all. I guess it’s the turning point that I can point-blankly admit that it is “writer’s block” I am suffering with.
And like the two of its predecessors, I lost the drive somewhere.
I tried looking for just anything to arouse my interest. I’ve singled out subscribers to drive me. I also read some, here and there and it did not help. I even considered asking for a co-writer but lash out the idea, ultimately. I am very specific and territorial. I don’t want to pick a fight with someone who’s just out to help me from my misery.
Right now, to be honest, my thoughts are all over the place. I have two multi-chaptered novels on my WP (aside from the aforementioned). And I would like to keep it that way. I promised myself that I would not do the same thing again (and add another set of fics) without the entire commitment to the first ones.
I would not make my personal issues and private life as an excuse anymore, for not updating or for even coming up with this decision. From now on, I would write simply for the sake of doing so and follow the flow where it leads me. I am in no way blaming anybody other than myself. I simply want to take this course, this time around, lightly.
I will still finish my stories --- the way I wanted it, with my pace, my time and wherever my inspiration brings me. There will be minor changes, the most significant though, is my taking advantage of a new freeway. Yay!
Thanks for reading this lengthy post. PM me for anything that’s going on your mind. I owe it still to you guys.